Tag Archives: comedy

I.O.U. Greek Salad Recipe: A Parody on the Economy…

12 May

After a satisfying italian meal on the deck last night, my husband turned to me and said:

“Man, I’m craving a Greek salad, and not just any Greek salad, but an I.O.U. Greek salad.”

My brows stitched together. “What’s an I.O.U. Greek salad?” I asked.

A half smile crept across his face. “What, you don’t know?”

I shook my head, feeling dumb for asking.

He sat up, placed his plate on the table and took a sip of wine. “Well, First you take over 100 billion American Tax-payer dollars and put it in a I.M.F. blender and blend until you can’t tell its American Tax-payer dollars anymore. Then, you mix it with a couple billion European Tax-payer dollars and you sprinkle it over a mound of Greek I.O.U.’s with feta, tomatoes, and cucumber, then garnish with a toasted pita.” He sat back, rubbing his tummy and licking his lips. “Sounds good, doesn’t it? Sure to be a global blowout.”

My eyes grew wide. “It does! But… it sounds a bit scandalous.”

He chuckled. “Well of course. That’s what makes it so tart and delicious, but I should warn you, though it looks healthy, it’s crammed with fat.”

I frowned. “Well, okay then. I’ll make it, I suppose.” I rubbed my tummy, not wanting to gain the weight of it.

He chuckled again, this time in a darker tone. “It’s not like you have any choice.”

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Death to Dandelion: A Ballad of Lost Petals

11 May

The smell of fertilizer taints the air of my front yard, and where I hate the smell, I love that it will kill the hundred-plus dandelion’s that have flourished there. It’s always too cold to fertilize before the grass begins to grow, so every year we end up with this less than beautiful bed of yellow flowers – definitely not the romantic bed of flowers I was hoping for.

Pre-season herb-o-cidal bouts come in the form of a gas powered Honda, going about the yard like the Queen of Hearts and chopping their heads off while I smile with murderous delight…

I even hear they’re edible… but for this bunch, not anymore.

Shrivel little yellow hat ladies… feel the acid burn.

On a better, less herb-o-cidal note, the unnaturally trained apple by my front door is blooming! I bought one that was grown on wires so it looks like a grape vine. It matched the twenty foot tall one in the back yard that has the same flowers all over it.

Massive pink. Massive Hummingbird utopia.

What Came First? The Jock… or the Jock Strap?

6 May

That’s what they’re wondering…

Ha ha.

Well, yesterday I was doing the laundry, and my husband (plays city league baseball) left his Jock Strap on the floor and I almost died tripping over it (I know, ew.) Needless to say I then stood there for fifteen minutes rubbing my toe (which I’d hit against the bedframe) and wondering what came first: The Jock, or the Jock Strap.

Don’t ask me why I thought this, but I just did.

Did they name the Jock Strap ofter the Jock, or the Jock after the Jock Strap??

So then last night at bowling I posed the question to my two friends and one of my friends husbands, who is a Sports Equipment Manager at Washington State University.

Needless to say we couldn’t formulate a good answer without giggling… Though I did bring up the idea that it came from Jockey, like the underwear brand…

Today, the question still haunts me, so I decided to do some research and here’s what I found:

Info Courtesy Wikipedia

“The word jockstrap has purportedly been in use since 1897, a likely contraction of ‘jockey strap’, as the garment was first designed for bicycle riders, or ‘bike jockeys’. The Bike Jockey Strap was the first jockstrap manufactured in America in 1874.[1][2] Jockey itself is the diminutive form of the Scots nickname Jock (for John) as Jackie is for the English nickname Jack. The nicknames Jack and Jackie, Jock and Jockey have been used generically for ‘man, fellow, boy, common man’. From the period c.1650-c.1850, ‘jock’ was used as slang for… (I cut this part out, you get the drift…)

The more recent slang term ‘jock’, meaning an athlete, is traced to 1959 and is itself derived from ‘jockstrap’.[3]”

Ha! There was my answer! So Jock Strap did come first… good to know.

As a woman, it is nice to know that one more mystery of the male world has been solved. Thank Goodness!